Rey's Loss
by I'm Moving to Mars
Summary: Convergence Creation Week 2017! Rey contemplates loss in her life as she travels to find Luke Skywalker at the end of The Force Awakens. Short oneshot about loss.


**Rey's Loss**

 **Convergence Creation Week Day Two -Loss**

 _I keep myself busy with things to do, but every time I pause, I still think of you._

Throughout her life Rey had lost a lot and yet she didn't always see it that way. From a young age she had trooped on with life, ever since she had arrived at the scavenger base on Jakku. Now, as she travelled to find the legendary Luke Skywalker, she couldn't imagine her life any other way than a desperate fight for survival. However now her situation was slightly different than how it had been on the scavenger planet. Back there she had been focused on getting food and keeping herself alive but that had all changed when BB-8 had turned up and now she lived with the threat of the First Order over her at all times. The change, however, also brought about good aspects and that was the family she had gained on her journey; Finn, Poe, Leia and of course the deceased Han Solo and the rest of the rebellion fighters. This family had replaced the one she lost...the one that abandoned her.

 _The young child shrieked like a banshee, her eyes fixed on the ship nearby. Scavengers of all shapes, sizes and appearances turned to watch the disturbance and none of those in charge demanded for them to continue working. The spectacle of a child wasn't what held their attention but instead a child that was_ _ **crying**_ _. Plenty of children were born within the scavenger base but these natives were either too weak to even attempt making such a noise or they learnt that the pathetic noises were not appreciated incredibly quickly. Also, the circumstances of her arrival brought interest and entertainment to all._

There wasn't much that Rey could remember of them...her family...and while part of her was glad that she didn't as she would never know how different her life could have been but another part yearned to know what they looked like and more importantly why they hadn't wanted her. That was one thing that she had decided for herself; they had dumped her on Jakku purposefully...it was utterly intentional in her mind and that was what hurt her the most.

 _"Come back!" Young Rey demanded with another scream but she was only greeted by the blast of air that came with spacecraft engines firing up and then the noise of the beast lifting up into the sky and whizzing away from her._

Her family could be anywhere in the galaxy, light-years away and Rey knew that she would never have the means to search for them. She didn't even know whether she would ever want to. On the other hand, they could be long dead and this was the belief that she preferred to hold as, when she was saddened by the loss, she could tell herself a story about them knowing about their imminent death and leaving her on Jakku to make sure she didn't suffer the same fate.

 _"Quiet, girl." The Junk Dealer ordered, seizing her arm in a way he assumed would frighten her into silence however the child continued to scream and cry for her family. Unkar Plutt hardly understood the arrival of the child named 'Rey', only the money that had come with her, and he was disgruntled by the lack of use she would have to him for scavenging until she was older. Until then, he decided, she would have to wash items he was preparing to sell on from the outpost to a customer._

One of the reasons Rey was always so active was that it helped her not only to survive but to forget about everything that she had lost. Her family, of course, but also Han. She felt almost selfish being upset about his loss but he had quickly become a father to her during their journey. With hindsight, she wished that she had accepted his offer to join him and Chewie on the Falcon instead of declining for a family that didn't want her however she also knew that she had dodged another bullet of pain from knowing she had lost another lifestyle when he died and that was one small thing she could be glad for, if anything.

 _"BE QUIET!" He tried one further time and this time she stifled her cries as he pulled her into the outpost and dumped her down on a piece of rug coated in sand and dirt. "Sit there." He growled once more, returning to his place behind the counter to dish out portions to the lined up scavengers who were now irritated by the distraction that was causing a decline in their work pace._

Something she dwelled on a lot was the vision of herself she saw when she touched Luke Skywalker's lightsaber for the first time. When she had arrived at the Jakku Scavenger Outpost she had been in floods of tears and she kicked herself for remembering this and not the people that had left her there. She couldn't recall much from her childhood at all the the fact the lightsaber had aided with her memories confused her and so she tried not to think about that aspect.

 _Little Rey fixed her eyes once again on the sky, glistening tears trickling down her distraught face. She wholeheartedly believed that they would return for her before the day was done however before her gaze the blue-white sky bled with orange, yellow and red before black darkness spread across it. Isolation spread across Jakku as the night brought sleep and silence._

Now, making her journey to find the Skywalker, she thought back to those she had left behind at the Rebellion's base. She wished to be back there with Poe, Finn, Leia, BB-8 and so many more...at least Chewie and R2-D2 were accompanying her.

 _The silhouette of the little girl was meaningless in the darkness of the outpost, there was no one present who cared for her in that moment. She lowered her head for a moment before glancing to the stars once more. She was left alone. They did not want her. There was no going back. The child howled until the night finally silenced her with blissful rest._

Resting her head against the glass of the window and knowing she had a while yet to go, Rey looked up at the sky and watched it flutter with a mess of colours. Despite all her loss she felt content in that moment and knew, that when the time came, she be ready to take on her next quest. Loss makes you stronger, after all.

 **This One-Shot was made for Convergence Creation Week 2017! Photo sets for this piece can be found on my Tumblr:** commanderclexaprior **under** #the convergence rp **so just search for it. If you are reading this and you aren't from the forum, The Convergence is an amazingly awesome roleplay forum that can be found in** Forums, General Forums **and is the second one down :) Enjoy!**

 **~Eli**


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